sometimes what they see...

On two occasions in one day, our six year old threw up. Both times we had a trash can handy, but the first time for some reason he threw up right beside the can directly on the carpet. The next time he didn't even make it to an upright position, it landed all over him. When he finally felt well enough to join the rest of us in the living room, we, of course, carried in the "unused" trash can and he pointed out our silliness by saying "You don't really need to bring that in here, I never make it in there anyway". He was obviously paying attention to the situation better than we were.

They are always so observant. Sometimes I wish they weren't. Sometimes what I model for them is less than pleasant. When my mind consumes itself with matters in this world rather than Him, I get ugly. They see it. Then, they're infected, too. There are times when my reaction to them is too harsh. Actually, I would require a much greater transgression by a stranger before I would react in such a way, but with the ones who are dear to me I get an attitude. I teach by how I live and I'm still struggling to be a doer instead of just a reader of His words.

But there are bright moments of hope. Moments that show me His mercy for not allowing the poison I pass to seep into them or His grace for covering my shortcomings with some goodness from Him. These moments come when one of these little or big ones recalls a memory of something we do in this family, something having to do with Him. They speak of such things as though it is standard practice around here and yet it may be something we feel we have failed at.

Lily prompted one of these moments of hope recently. She is one and a half, so obviously still a baby-sort, but she has been watching keenly. One morning, when only she and I were awake, I walked to the living room, telling her, "Mama's going to read her Bible". She immediately ran to the living room, pointed to the shelf, and said her version of the word "book" and "my". She wanted her prayer journal book off the shelf. She relates that to prayer and the Bible, and I must say it's amazing that she makes that connection.

We have been slack in keeping up with these journals. The idea for them came from another blog (A Holy Experience) and we started them with much excitement taking a Psalm at a time. It's just we hit them only periodically. We have failed in our plans to make this a routine. Yet this baby knows when the Bible comes out, there's a special book that we write in. She's learning a practice that holds a spot in her memory...a practice that says this Bible is a special book, it's so good that you takes notes. Even when our consistency suffers, she still remembers.

He takes the little we offer and blesses it. That is His grace showering this family.

As parents, we lack in so many areas. Some of the kinks in our parenting will still be there when all these arrows leave our house. We just keep reminding all of them that we're still growing in Him too...we're still learning. They tend to be pretty forgiving with us.

Sometimes, from my vantage point, I'm sure we're failing, but then He shows me that He helps them see what I don't even see.