afraid

Psalm 56:3--"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee."

• There are times when I talk of my trust in You much better than I live it

• When a child is late getting home or that strange pain comes back in those times I fear and do more crying than trusting

• The "what-if's" become shadows that hover over me threatening and taunting me

• My heart aches in fear, fear that life may take a turn I'm not ready for

• I am weakest of the weak at those times

• I repeat Your words to me "...without faith it is impossible to please Him"

• And I know I am not pleasing You

• Convinced that I know what is best for me and the dear ones

• Wavering, doubting,...like the one who walks away from the looking glass and forgets what her own image looks like

• Forgetting whose I am, forgetting who has performed all the amazing feats in this life of mine already

• Forgetting the lump of clay I was and the beautiful vessel You are shaping for Your glory, forgetting all that You have done

• I try to remind myself to trust You, for my hope lies only in You

• But I am Peter and I have taken a couple of steps on the water walking to You until now--I have looked at the waves, they have swallowed me, and in the fury of the waters, my view of You is obstructed

• Help me to trust beyond what I can see, beyond my own logic and understanding of how this life "should" proceed

• If walking through a fire is what You plan for glory to be brought to You, then stay in it with me and let me see You with me so that I may walk through it with the faith that will encourage the dear ones

• You know all my pleas, now help me to leave them with You, in faith remembering that whatever You allow, You are God alone and You have the plans--for me and for the dear ones

Psalm 56:3--"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee."