sometimes a hug...

Hugs are not my area of expertise. Honestly, hugging others does not come naturally for me. There are very few people who I just throw my arms around casually. There's one pastor and fewer than a handful of friends (usually ones I haven't seen in a while) who I just automatically grab and squeeze. Everyone else...it's a very conscious effort on my part to embrace them. I wouldn't even hug that one pastor except that love from him has continually splashed all over me (in spite of how well he knows me) so now when he approaches something weird happens inside and suddenly I'm a little child throwing myself into loving arms without reserve. I always like running into him.

Usually I'm just pretty much a popsicle, somewhat stiff and cold, not in my heart but all outward indications point to that. But sometimes a hug happens even unexpectedly, from someone you wouldn't usually hug and it's like for the moment He just put someone there for you to hold on to. Like if they weren't there to hold you up, you might collapse into a puddle of tears in the middle of the crowd of bodies. So you hang on and even have to tell the person "I'm going to have to stay here for a few minutes, I'm not ready to let go". So you stay there and maybe tears come and the person doesn't even know why you're hanging on so tightly. But they keep holding on to you with the same intensity as though that's what they're supposed to do. They have their reasons for hugging and you have your reasons for hanging on so intensely and He put it all together because He knows what we need.