who knew?!

Watching from the screen door as they walk to Granny's, my mind travels back, remembering the reaction of big girl to the news that a little girl was on her way, enlarging our family yet again. Big girl was not happy. She's not mean spirited at all, but she was content with the family as it was. The idea of yet another child was quite a chunk for her to swallow. She handled it a little better after learning it was a boy, as long as it wasn't a girl. Em had been the only girl in our family and the extended family for years. She was pretty happy with that arrangement.

But sonograms are only as reliable as the one looking at them and sometimes a person may think they see what is really not there after all. Such was the case a couple of years ago, for in a follow up sonogram, Dad and I explained to the new sonogram reader that we already knew this little guy was a boy, but we really wanted to know if he appeared healthy. She stayed quiet and we wondered what was up. Then finally she had two things she needed to tell us. "First," she said, "everything looks good, very healthy, but" she added, "I need to tell you, this is no little boy!" We both had smiles ear to ear, as girls have been rare in our family, but immediately our thoughts went to that big girl of ours at home. What would she think? She was the one we most desperately wanted to share the news with. Certainly when she thought about it and realized she would have a little sister, she would really be happy.

Not so.

She is really not mean spirited, but she did not want a little female invader. Throughout the pregnancy, then the birth and homecoming, I waited thinking eventually she's going to love her. Love comes slowly sometimes, I've learned. I never woke up and instantly recognized her love for the little sister she had never invited in her life. But over months and months, she would make her a juice cup and smile back if smiled at. Or while holding her, she would make funny faces and laugh with her...if she thought no one was looking. Then she finally didn't care if anyone saw her as she would take little sis on her knee and play "Trot to Town". Now she traipses over to Granny's with little girl on her back, bouncing along the way.

I watch from the screen door and think it took much longer than I thought it would, but it's also much sweeter than I had hoped for. It's a genuine love grown from the heart of a girl's selfish wants being transformed into the realization that her desires do not get priority in this life.

I watch them walk away together and amazement fills me because I think they are both fabulous. I will never be afraid to say wonderful words describing them, as I know they are not mine and I have little to do with the characters they are. They belong to Someone greater than their dad and me, He is the One who made them so much alike...and different. He is the One who gave the one brown eyes when she wanted blue, but then gave the little one the blue ones! He is the One who made them both sneaky and stubborn, yet strong and determined. He is the One who gave the one who always wanted a big sister a little sister instead, so maybe she can be the big sis she always wanted. Who knew He had all that planned...and more?