Anyone who has peeked into this blog as of yet realizes by now there is no great wisdom pouring out from it, just words conceived by a life lived imperfectly, but desperately clinging to what is stable...Him.
At this time in life, I freely admit I am parched, dry as a dead, brown fallen leaf in autumn. When I am in church, sometimes one of the pastors may make a statement like "if you're not feeling something here right now, then something's wrong with you" and I realize there might just be something wrong with me, for I feel nothing much. I go to church and watch as it looks like wonderful things are taking place, but I know I'm not part of it. It's like I'm on the outside of great things He's doing, just watching, being a spectator, seeing Him working in others, but I remain unaffected. There is no great trial that has presented itself just this person being distracted by things that happen in life instead of staying focused on the One who gave it. But even in this desert place, I see His workings. And though I feel nothing, I cannot be swayed to doubt Him because evidence of Him is all about and obvious.
It's like the wind. When I'm outside and the wind passes by, I cannot see it, but it's evident as it whistles through my hair. But sometimes, I'm inside where it cannot touch me and I cannot feel it, but I still see it's effects as trees sway back and forth.
Today, looking out the window, hardly any sign of movement in the trees has been seen. Just a simple dead stillness, which is kind of how I'm feeling, but back behind our house, just over a little hill, is a very thin pine tree permanently leaning to the side. It was permanently tilted a few years back when a tropical storm blew through. It stands as evidence that the wind has been here, so I know it was real and more than likely will be back. It's just that today's a quiet day.
So in my quiet days of right now, when I'm feeling nothing, I have searched the landscape and seen many things in this life which have been permanently altered thanks to the only One who could have done that. Even in the stillness, what He has already done stands as a witness to me.
John 3:8--"The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit."
There is much great wisdom that comes from you, I enjoy reading what the Lord has poured into your life. Thank you for everything you speak and do.
ReplyDeleteAngel....I have visited the place in the desert that you feel you are in now. It is dry there, parched and barren. I understand your feelings full well. Although you feel bent, dry and wind blown, the God of the Ages continues to sustain you. This dry season shall pass, you WILL move forward again and bask in His rain. The feeling of "going through the motions" but feeling nothing inside, happens to all Christians. But it is up to us to reach towards the Cross of Christ, press through the dryness in our souls and realize once again, the joy of our salvation. I'm lifting you up as you steer your feet back onto the path of joy. I love you. Be encouraged and remember who Jesus is to you.
ReplyDeleteAngel....one more thought. I strongly encourage you to go to www.crazylovebook.com. Once there, click on the "videos" on the left side of the scream and watch the one entitled "Just Stop and Think." As a matter of fact, watch both of them. They will bless your heart and I'm praying they will help you crawl out of the desert you feel you are in. I read this book out loud so Darrel could hear it also, on our way home from NC. It has changed our lives. I encourage you to watche these videos and be blessed. Your thirsty soul is waiting to be watered by the Father.
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