I Timothy 2:15--"Yet she will be saved through childbearing--if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control."
I have known of this verse since I became a mom over eighteen years ago and I've felt its impact in my life since then.
Before motherhood, I actually didn't anticipate motherhood. I planned on a career that would take me far from everything I had ever known. I wanted to go into an abyss of solitude and work in some field that could keep me from relationships with anyone...sounds so dark and creepy to realize that's what I longed for once.
But even though I had no desire for family, when I saw mothers, I was in awe. Even in my childless state, I thought there was some mysterious phenomenon about being a mother. I didn't realize that the mystery was not in being a mom, but in the benefits being a mom offers.
He has a way of setting detours when we have given our lives to Him, detours that lead us to places we rebellious ones don't want to go by choice. So somehow I married and had children. I know I say this so flippantly as though it just happened without much choice on my part, but that is where a great miracle in my life happened. He arranged things in my life that I'm certain I did not have the insight to plan. My great blessing, my anchor...being mom.
I look back often and understand where the path of solitude and withdrawal leads...that was the path I thought I wanted. The path of a loner, leading me to isolation, although eventually it would have included probably many destructive relationships sought after out of desperation for some connection.
How amazing that that was not my course, after all. Instead motherhood. Something grand I did not deserve. The opportunity to have the most precious of all things in my hands to shape and guide...an innocent little life, a handful of them now!
It has kept me.
When little ones you know belong to Him are walking behind you, following your steps, you are more careful to avoid dangerous places lest you lead them there.
I am no longer awed by motherhood as a mysterious phenomenon. Better than that, it is obviously a great opportunity He offered me. An opportunity to be anchored by adhering to the demands being "mom" places on me. The demands are not providing meals, cleaning their clothes, running errands for them. The demands are keeping my heart set on Him so I live following Him so they will be directed to their ultimate hope.
I have struggled with living this way because I am still rebellious sometimes, lately more than before. But I see His goodness in this plan whether I stay the course or fall into a pit, I see His plan in motherhood. Motherhood has saved me from much.
I have known of this verse since I became a mom over eighteen years ago and I've felt its impact in my life since then.
Before motherhood, I actually didn't anticipate motherhood. I planned on a career that would take me far from everything I had ever known. I wanted to go into an abyss of solitude and work in some field that could keep me from relationships with anyone...sounds so dark and creepy to realize that's what I longed for once.
But even though I had no desire for family, when I saw mothers, I was in awe. Even in my childless state, I thought there was some mysterious phenomenon about being a mother. I didn't realize that the mystery was not in being a mom, but in the benefits being a mom offers.
He has a way of setting detours when we have given our lives to Him, detours that lead us to places we rebellious ones don't want to go by choice. So somehow I married and had children. I know I say this so flippantly as though it just happened without much choice on my part, but that is where a great miracle in my life happened. He arranged things in my life that I'm certain I did not have the insight to plan. My great blessing, my anchor...being mom.
I look back often and understand where the path of solitude and withdrawal leads...that was the path I thought I wanted. The path of a loner, leading me to isolation, although eventually it would have included probably many destructive relationships sought after out of desperation for some connection.
How amazing that that was not my course, after all. Instead motherhood. Something grand I did not deserve. The opportunity to have the most precious of all things in my hands to shape and guide...an innocent little life, a handful of them now!
It has kept me.
When little ones you know belong to Him are walking behind you, following your steps, you are more careful to avoid dangerous places lest you lead them there.
I am no longer awed by motherhood as a mysterious phenomenon. Better than that, it is obviously a great opportunity He offered me. An opportunity to be anchored by adhering to the demands being "mom" places on me. The demands are not providing meals, cleaning their clothes, running errands for them. The demands are keeping my heart set on Him so I live following Him so they will be directed to their ultimate hope.
I have struggled with living this way because I am still rebellious sometimes, lately more than before. But I see His goodness in this plan whether I stay the course or fall into a pit, I see His plan in motherhood. Motherhood has saved me from much.
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