Isaiah 40:11--"He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young."
I'm so thankful for word pictures of how You care for Your own. A shepherd guiding Yours in safety and loving care. In moments of anxiety, when I feel surrounded by the unknown that causes my heart to race, I remember You...my Shepherd and my heart calms as I simply say "lead me, I will follow". I walk away calmed by knowing You are right there with me and then You lead me into the most wonderful circumstances.
My part is really simple. Just trust and follow You. You lead me to the greenest pastures. That's what a shepherd does...guide, protect, provide. You do that and so much more for me.
I have felt the protection. I have loved the guidance. I have been thankful for the provision. I have also wandered from Your side. Sometimes feeling carefree and independent in those green pastures, taking my eyes off you, feeling confident until I realize I've gotten myself stuck in a thicket in a desert place. Then I start to cry and You come and get me...and break me, bring me back with my scrapes and bruises, and You show me that there is danger when I wander from You.
I remember a song Mama taught us. She always wanted us to sing it and we didn't want to, but now the words are sweet. "Gentle Shepherd, come and lead us, for we need Your help to guide our way"...the words are jumbled in my mind because of the years since hearing, but the meaning is there.
You lead me beside still waters when I would otherwise walk into rapids. You restore my soul when I feel so overwhelmed and confused. You are the Good Shepherd. And I am amazed that all it requires on my part is to trust and follow.
John 10:14,27--"I am the good shepherd, and know my sheep, and am known of mine...My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me:"
Monday, August 31, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
internet suddenly looks so small
John 4:14--"But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life."
"A spring as clear as well water bubbled up from nowhere in the sand...and began to run rapidly down-hill to make a creek. The creek joined Lake George, Lake George was part of the St. John's River, the great river flowed northward and into the sea. It excited Jody to watch the beginning of the ocean...The bubbling spring would rise forever from the earth..."--Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings, The Yearling
(We visited some springs a few months ago and saw the sand boils, where water just bubbles up from under ground and starts. The start of an ocean right there in a tiny little cove. It is a mystery to watch and be amazed at what that water turns in to.)
You are the God of all things everlasting. Why would I choose what is temporal? My flesh would pull me in that direction, trying to convince me that there is something that would satisfy, but Your Spirit tugs and reminds me of truth. Truth that You are the God of all things everlasting.
I have been to the springs and seen the beginnings of the ocean. I have been amazed seeing the sand boils, the water just coming forth from the earth and turning into an ocean that man has barely been able to study much, even to this day when man's technology is vast. You give us so many pictures of Your greatness through Your creation.
And I look at the pages of Your Word, like a child in amazement, fascinated that I cannot find an end to its wonder.
I could sooner search the internet itself and completely cover everything offered by man before I could finish feeding off Your Word because Your Word is eternal and anything offered by man is not. There is always something new in those same sixty-six books people have studied for centuries. It stays a mystery with everlasting new discoveries to guide each one in Your way if we will listen.
You renew me with Your fresh spring, life-giving, waters when I listen to Your Words.
"...from everlasting to everlasting, thou art God."--Ps. 90:2
"...for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength:"--Isa. 26:4
"...but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the LORD..."--Isa. 54:8
"...whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."--John 3:16
"...Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love..."--Jer. 31:3
"...hath given us everlasting consolation and good hope..."--II Thes. 2:16
Deuteronomy 33:27--"The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms..."
"A spring as clear as well water bubbled up from nowhere in the sand...and began to run rapidly down-hill to make a creek. The creek joined Lake George, Lake George was part of the St. John's River, the great river flowed northward and into the sea. It excited Jody to watch the beginning of the ocean...The bubbling spring would rise forever from the earth..."--Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings, The Yearling
(We visited some springs a few months ago and saw the sand boils, where water just bubbles up from under ground and starts. The start of an ocean right there in a tiny little cove. It is a mystery to watch and be amazed at what that water turns in to.)
You are the God of all things everlasting. Why would I choose what is temporal? My flesh would pull me in that direction, trying to convince me that there is something that would satisfy, but Your Spirit tugs and reminds me of truth. Truth that You are the God of all things everlasting.
I have been to the springs and seen the beginnings of the ocean. I have been amazed seeing the sand boils, the water just coming forth from the earth and turning into an ocean that man has barely been able to study much, even to this day when man's technology is vast. You give us so many pictures of Your greatness through Your creation.
And I look at the pages of Your Word, like a child in amazement, fascinated that I cannot find an end to its wonder.
I could sooner search the internet itself and completely cover everything offered by man before I could finish feeding off Your Word because Your Word is eternal and anything offered by man is not. There is always something new in those same sixty-six books people have studied for centuries. It stays a mystery with everlasting new discoveries to guide each one in Your way if we will listen.
You renew me with Your fresh spring, life-giving, waters when I listen to Your Words.
"...from everlasting to everlasting, thou art God."--Ps. 90:2
"...for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength:"--Isa. 26:4
"...but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the LORD..."--Isa. 54:8
"...whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."--John 3:16
"...Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love..."--Jer. 31:3
"...hath given us everlasting consolation and good hope..."--II Thes. 2:16
Deuteronomy 33:27--"The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms..."
Thursday, August 27, 2009
letting go of what I can never catch anyway
II Corinthians 1:3--"Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort; who comforteth us in all our tribulations: that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God."
"...Such Christians, although they profess to be followers of the God of all comfort, spread gloom and discomfort around them wherever they go; and it is out of the question for them to hope that they can induce anyone else to believe that this beautiful name, by which He has announced Himself, is anything more than a pious phrase, which in reality means nothing at all. And the manifestly uncomfortable religious lives of so many Christians is, I am very much afraid, responsible for a large part of the unbelief in the world." Hannah Whitall Smith
I read this from the book, The God of All Comfort, nearly trembling inside, knowing lately I've taken my eyes off of You as my source for everything I need.
In my fast spinning world, days passing so quickly, wondering where the time is going, I have sought comfort from those most dear around me, expecting more from them than they can offer. All because I've not remembered that You are my only source...for comfort and all else.
As I turn my eyes elsewhere for my help, my burdens get heavier. Suddenly I cannot manage the every day and my demeanor changes to reflect one who is unsettled and I am ashamed. Ashamed because I am not wearing You well.
I allow the burdens of the everyday to bombard me and cannot see Your hope because my vision is obscured. Obscured because I look in the wrong direction for my help. Why would I exchange Your yoke which is so light for one that weighs me down?
The dear ones are watching me and they know all is not well with their mother. They are the ones who most make me want to walk confidently in Your hope and comfort. One day I want them to do the same.
I do not want them to see in me nothing more than a "pious phrase", but instead the beauty of the mystery of the gospel.
I remember Solomon's words now and cringe, knowing I've allowed the same in my life. How many times does he say it in his Ecclesiastes book--grasping for the wind! It is all vanity.
I'm letting go of my fruitless efforts to catch the wind. All that gets accomplished should be for Your glory, all else is waste.
Allow Your servant child to rest in Your comfort and forgive me for going to the "high places" again.
Psalm 119:59--"I thought about my ways, and turned my feet to Your testimonies."
"...Such Christians, although they profess to be followers of the God of all comfort, spread gloom and discomfort around them wherever they go; and it is out of the question for them to hope that they can induce anyone else to believe that this beautiful name, by which He has announced Himself, is anything more than a pious phrase, which in reality means nothing at all. And the manifestly uncomfortable religious lives of so many Christians is, I am very much afraid, responsible for a large part of the unbelief in the world." Hannah Whitall Smith
I read this from the book, The God of All Comfort, nearly trembling inside, knowing lately I've taken my eyes off of You as my source for everything I need.
In my fast spinning world, days passing so quickly, wondering where the time is going, I have sought comfort from those most dear around me, expecting more from them than they can offer. All because I've not remembered that You are my only source...for comfort and all else.
As I turn my eyes elsewhere for my help, my burdens get heavier. Suddenly I cannot manage the every day and my demeanor changes to reflect one who is unsettled and I am ashamed. Ashamed because I am not wearing You well.
I allow the burdens of the everyday to bombard me and cannot see Your hope because my vision is obscured. Obscured because I look in the wrong direction for my help. Why would I exchange Your yoke which is so light for one that weighs me down?
The dear ones are watching me and they know all is not well with their mother. They are the ones who most make me want to walk confidently in Your hope and comfort. One day I want them to do the same.
I do not want them to see in me nothing more than a "pious phrase", but instead the beauty of the mystery of the gospel.
I remember Solomon's words now and cringe, knowing I've allowed the same in my life. How many times does he say it in his Ecclesiastes book--grasping for the wind! It is all vanity.
I'm letting go of my fruitless efforts to catch the wind. All that gets accomplished should be for Your glory, all else is waste.
Allow Your servant child to rest in Your comfort and forgive me for going to the "high places" again.
Psalm 119:59--"I thought about my ways, and turned my feet to Your testimonies."
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Em with a fever
Luke 1:49--"For he that is mighty hath done to me great things; and holy is his name."
Even in the shadow of illnesses there are blessings waiting to be spotted.
She's thirteen, warm with fever, and sleeping in my bed tonight. Last night, her little brother informed me of Em's odd "hot skin". From annoying lingering headache to scorching temperature within a couple of hours.
Her fierce independence restricts too much nurturing on my part usually. So catering to her has been kind of nice. I'm needed by my rosebud, my dolly dingle, my chick!
There's something sweet in the care giving. It brings to mind all the traits in her that have always made her dad and I smile. How, as a toddler, she would never smile for grown ups who acted silly, she just looked at them like they had problems. I remember a relative at a family reunion who happened to be a psychologist trying to get her to smile when she was just a toddler. Of course, she gave the usual stare and I informed him "She doesn't respond to people when they talk to her in 'baby' talk." He replied that she wasn't responding because I was teaching her not to by saying she wouldn't respond. (Yeah, it didn't really make much sense then either.) I just left him to his ambitious efforts. Of course, he never got the smile. She could spot the real and the artificial back then and she's always wanted the real.
She had the nose of a hound from early on. Never could I get away with a treat hidden in my mouth. Little Em would always walk right up to me, tilt that little head up at nearly a 90 degree angle, ask what I had, and expect me to share.
If she could have wiped the color pink off the face of the earth, I think she would have. Never liked lace, ribbons, bows, or fluffy dresses. Her granny once bought her a dress from Dollywood and I made her wear it to church just one time. She has never forgotten that.
We never had to invest in dolls or barbies just stuffed animals and lots of them. She has quite the menagerie of them still. She really got attached to stuffed animals. When eating at a Cracker Barrel once, she spotted a wolf beanie buddie named Nanook and wanted him desperately. I wanted to get him for her, but felt it was a good time to teach the lesson that we can't always have what we want. Her tears that night caused me to spend the next two years searching for Nanook until I finally spotted him on EBay and bought him for Christmas. After that I had a hard time saying no to stuffed animals.
She gets attached to animals sometimes to people too, but mostly animals. Right now, she's attached to a horse named Tex who she insists is hers even though we have no fenced field for him and cannot purchase him for her. But I actually believe she will end up with him. She has learned to rely on One who can provide more for her than her dad and I. I like that.
She's gone through some challenging years. Challenging for her and me. Years that had me seeking counsel and pulling out hair. The hair's growing back and the counsel grew my character first. Now I look back and I'm thankful for her challenges. Anything that helps grow her mama into what He calls her to be is a good thing.
There are a couple of things that I'm extra thankful for. Like her thick skin. She's never been sensitive. I think she might mourn for about two minutes if insulted outright, but usually she just assumes someone's joking and joins in. She wants friends and loves people, but she will not change herself for them. The other thing is that she does things I was too fearful to do. Some things that I'm still to fearful to do. Like singing in front of people or even just going out of her way to talk to new people.
I really like this girl, this bewildering creature we call Em who loves horses, dogs, and people especially some very special ones at church. This girl who has always wanted a big sister has found herself playing that exact role to another tiny girl who she was hesitant to invite home from the hospital yet now when we sneak a peek around the corner into the living room, we see big sister dancing with the little sister. And I smile because I know she is being the big sister that she always wanted.
Yes, her sick with fever makes me think about all this. Snapshots of her. Life is full of pictures never taken. Images captured in my mind and held sweetly in my heart.
Luke 2:19--"But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart."
Even in the shadow of illnesses there are blessings waiting to be spotted.
She's thirteen, warm with fever, and sleeping in my bed tonight. Last night, her little brother informed me of Em's odd "hot skin". From annoying lingering headache to scorching temperature within a couple of hours.
Her fierce independence restricts too much nurturing on my part usually. So catering to her has been kind of nice. I'm needed by my rosebud, my dolly dingle, my chick!
There's something sweet in the care giving. It brings to mind all the traits in her that have always made her dad and I smile. How, as a toddler, she would never smile for grown ups who acted silly, she just looked at them like they had problems. I remember a relative at a family reunion who happened to be a psychologist trying to get her to smile when she was just a toddler. Of course, she gave the usual stare and I informed him "She doesn't respond to people when they talk to her in 'baby' talk." He replied that she wasn't responding because I was teaching her not to by saying she wouldn't respond. (Yeah, it didn't really make much sense then either.) I just left him to his ambitious efforts. Of course, he never got the smile. She could spot the real and the artificial back then and she's always wanted the real.
She had the nose of a hound from early on. Never could I get away with a treat hidden in my mouth. Little Em would always walk right up to me, tilt that little head up at nearly a 90 degree angle, ask what I had, and expect me to share.
If she could have wiped the color pink off the face of the earth, I think she would have. Never liked lace, ribbons, bows, or fluffy dresses. Her granny once bought her a dress from Dollywood and I made her wear it to church just one time. She has never forgotten that.
We never had to invest in dolls or barbies just stuffed animals and lots of them. She has quite the menagerie of them still. She really got attached to stuffed animals. When eating at a Cracker Barrel once, she spotted a wolf beanie buddie named Nanook and wanted him desperately. I wanted to get him for her, but felt it was a good time to teach the lesson that we can't always have what we want. Her tears that night caused me to spend the next two years searching for Nanook until I finally spotted him on EBay and bought him for Christmas. After that I had a hard time saying no to stuffed animals.
She gets attached to animals sometimes to people too, but mostly animals. Right now, she's attached to a horse named Tex who she insists is hers even though we have no fenced field for him and cannot purchase him for her. But I actually believe she will end up with him. She has learned to rely on One who can provide more for her than her dad and I. I like that.
She's gone through some challenging years. Challenging for her and me. Years that had me seeking counsel and pulling out hair. The hair's growing back and the counsel grew my character first. Now I look back and I'm thankful for her challenges. Anything that helps grow her mama into what He calls her to be is a good thing.
There are a couple of things that I'm extra thankful for. Like her thick skin. She's never been sensitive. I think she might mourn for about two minutes if insulted outright, but usually she just assumes someone's joking and joins in. She wants friends and loves people, but she will not change herself for them. The other thing is that she does things I was too fearful to do. Some things that I'm still to fearful to do. Like singing in front of people or even just going out of her way to talk to new people.
I really like this girl, this bewildering creature we call Em who loves horses, dogs, and people especially some very special ones at church. This girl who has always wanted a big sister has found herself playing that exact role to another tiny girl who she was hesitant to invite home from the hospital yet now when we sneak a peek around the corner into the living room, we see big sister dancing with the little sister. And I smile because I know she is being the big sister that she always wanted.
Yes, her sick with fever makes me think about all this. Snapshots of her. Life is full of pictures never taken. Images captured in my mind and held sweetly in my heart.
Luke 2:19--"But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart."
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
hope I have a good name
Psalm 139:16, 17--"Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect: and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God!"
Before Gideon ever was one, You called him a "mighty man of valor". Before Abraham was even a father, You called him the "father of many nations". Before David was even old enough to be considered worthy of being counted by his own father, You anointed him as king. And of course, Peter was no rock when You said he would be.
You are not bound by time so You knew what they would eventually be, You called them by the name they would be remembered by when they finished this life.
I hope the name You have for me pleases You. Sometimes I quit looking at You and look at my own frailties and the ways I may fail. In those times, I wish I could hear You call me something that would give me a clue that maybe I won't fail You. But if I had any hint about the future, I would probably not be as determined to hold on to You in my neediness.
So I continue with my own idea of the fitting name for me: "the feeble body part". Day after day, fighting a battle that is often waged in my mind where the enemy has lost ground, but fights to regain his position. Your strength, however, has been most obvious for I know how weak I am, but the enemy has not been able to retake that ground. Actually he continues to lose more and more. Your strength sustains and shields me. I'm Yours. Let that suffice to be my name. Just that I'm Yours. That will do. Yours.
I Corinthians 12:22--"Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary"
Before Gideon ever was one, You called him a "mighty man of valor". Before Abraham was even a father, You called him the "father of many nations". Before David was even old enough to be considered worthy of being counted by his own father, You anointed him as king. And of course, Peter was no rock when You said he would be.
You are not bound by time so You knew what they would eventually be, You called them by the name they would be remembered by when they finished this life.
I hope the name You have for me pleases You. Sometimes I quit looking at You and look at my own frailties and the ways I may fail. In those times, I wish I could hear You call me something that would give me a clue that maybe I won't fail You. But if I had any hint about the future, I would probably not be as determined to hold on to You in my neediness.
So I continue with my own idea of the fitting name for me: "the feeble body part". Day after day, fighting a battle that is often waged in my mind where the enemy has lost ground, but fights to regain his position. Your strength, however, has been most obvious for I know how weak I am, but the enemy has not been able to retake that ground. Actually he continues to lose more and more. Your strength sustains and shields me. I'm Yours. Let that suffice to be my name. Just that I'm Yours. That will do. Yours.
I Corinthians 12:22--"Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary"
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
maybe prayer instead of the phone call
Psalm 141:3--"Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips."
I wonder if sometimes calling someone and sharing our concerns about them is actually being thoughtful after all. Maybe that little nudge of worry about them is really the One who loves us best reminding us to talk to Him about them, not necessarily to get us to speak to them.
Sometimes words of concern can come out as hurtful. Nothing more than a persuasive argument from one that reaches desperately for words that will motivate another to see the errors they are making and show how right the concerned one is. That causes strife and nothing more. Very few people are ever persuaded by an argument built on contention even if it's birthed from an intense love the concerned one has for the other.
Okay, so I received one of these calls today from one who I know loves me more than most (and would never be reading this or it wouldn't appear here!). I do understand the concern, but I wondered after the call if this person realized the strife that I felt hearing the words, words that were not helpful, but accusing. I don't mind this person's concern for my well-being and her hopes that I'm not getting overwhelmed with my duties in life. But when concern expresses itself with charges it's hard to see the concern anymore. All the person can see now are the charges, no love.
I would rather any and every day be the beneficiary of prayers to the One who has the strength I need than to receive a phone call of concern. As I pondered all that was spoken to me on the phone today, I thought "do I address people with my concerns for them before I ever whisper their names to the Almighty?" Then He reminded me of another phone call I received today from another who shared the verse above, Psalm 141:3, with me. He reminded me to keep that thought ever present in my heart so as I speak to others, my words are chosen carefully and only expressed after talking to Him. I want Him to be the keeper of the doors of my lips! And I want to always be consumed with the need to pray, pray, pray for those He puts around me and those He brings to my mind. I want to always pray first and then maybe a phone call.
James 5:16--"...pray one for another..."
I wonder if sometimes calling someone and sharing our concerns about them is actually being thoughtful after all. Maybe that little nudge of worry about them is really the One who loves us best reminding us to talk to Him about them, not necessarily to get us to speak to them.
Sometimes words of concern can come out as hurtful. Nothing more than a persuasive argument from one that reaches desperately for words that will motivate another to see the errors they are making and show how right the concerned one is. That causes strife and nothing more. Very few people are ever persuaded by an argument built on contention even if it's birthed from an intense love the concerned one has for the other.
Okay, so I received one of these calls today from one who I know loves me more than most (and would never be reading this or it wouldn't appear here!). I do understand the concern, but I wondered after the call if this person realized the strife that I felt hearing the words, words that were not helpful, but accusing. I don't mind this person's concern for my well-being and her hopes that I'm not getting overwhelmed with my duties in life. But when concern expresses itself with charges it's hard to see the concern anymore. All the person can see now are the charges, no love.
I would rather any and every day be the beneficiary of prayers to the One who has the strength I need than to receive a phone call of concern. As I pondered all that was spoken to me on the phone today, I thought "do I address people with my concerns for them before I ever whisper their names to the Almighty?" Then He reminded me of another phone call I received today from another who shared the verse above, Psalm 141:3, with me. He reminded me to keep that thought ever present in my heart so as I speak to others, my words are chosen carefully and only expressed after talking to Him. I want Him to be the keeper of the doors of my lips! And I want to always be consumed with the need to pray, pray, pray for those He puts around me and those He brings to my mind. I want to always pray first and then maybe a phone call.
James 5:16--"...pray one for another..."
Monday, August 17, 2009
disenchantment
James 1:17--"Every good and every perfect gift is from above, and coming down from the Father of lights..."
I visited a newborn miracle this weekend. Sweet, tiny new one. My prayer is that his parents learn to trust in the One who is the giver of all good things. But also my prayer is that they never become disenchanted with what they have been given.
It is too easy to allow disenchantment--that "forgetting of the miraculous" that can happen as life progresses. Little ones born, adored, but then as they grow sometimes the miracle of who they are seems diminished. They go from the most special creature ever cuddled to a five year old who asks too many questions and won't calm down. Suddenly, disenchantment.
I feel like I pass by them often in many places. True, I am only seeing a glimpse, maybe they're treated with love at home. But when I see one of the little miracles being spoken to with almost disgust, I cry inside. Have the big people around them forgotten. Forgotten their miracle, forgotten how this one is extra special, this one is going to be brilliant. I cry in my heart sometimes when I see them. I want to tell them "you are brilliant, that's how the One who loves you most made you". It seems that when they are born and grow and begin behaving like us that it is easiest to become disenchanted with the amazing individuals they truly are made to be. Suddenly we don't understand where the spectacular creature went because this one seems to be less than what we hoped.
I want to see the beauty of what You have given in each of these sweet ones everyday. I want them to know that I see it in them. I don't want to look at them as mine because I know if I see them rightly as Yours, then the miracle of who they are stays with me. I don't ever want to be disenchanted.
Psalm 103:2--"Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits"
I visited a newborn miracle this weekend. Sweet, tiny new one. My prayer is that his parents learn to trust in the One who is the giver of all good things. But also my prayer is that they never become disenchanted with what they have been given.
It is too easy to allow disenchantment--that "forgetting of the miraculous" that can happen as life progresses. Little ones born, adored, but then as they grow sometimes the miracle of who they are seems diminished. They go from the most special creature ever cuddled to a five year old who asks too many questions and won't calm down. Suddenly, disenchantment.
I feel like I pass by them often in many places. True, I am only seeing a glimpse, maybe they're treated with love at home. But when I see one of the little miracles being spoken to with almost disgust, I cry inside. Have the big people around them forgotten. Forgotten their miracle, forgotten how this one is extra special, this one is going to be brilliant. I cry in my heart sometimes when I see them. I want to tell them "you are brilliant, that's how the One who loves you most made you". It seems that when they are born and grow and begin behaving like us that it is easiest to become disenchanted with the amazing individuals they truly are made to be. Suddenly we don't understand where the spectacular creature went because this one seems to be less than what we hoped.
I want to see the beauty of what You have given in each of these sweet ones everyday. I want them to know that I see it in them. I don't want to look at them as mine because I know if I see them rightly as Yours, then the miracle of who they are stays with me. I don't ever want to be disenchanted.
Psalm 103:2--"Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits"
Saturday, August 15, 2009
meteor showers--waiting for blessings
Ezekiel 34:26--"And I will make them and the places round about my hill a blessing; and I will cause the shower to come down in his season; there shall be showers of blessing."
The other night, when preparing to return to our rooms at our little beach vacation, my sister received a phone call from her oldest son. He informed her that that night and the one after just happened to be the best viewing nights for a meteor shower. My sister had never seen a "shooting star" so the idea of a shower of them was too appealing to pass up.
We never made it back to the rooms that night. My sister, my mom, and I, along with a new friend plopped ourselves in lawn chairs on the pool deck, laid back and started searching the sky. We watched the moon rise and knew the "shower" would not be seen until the sky became darkest so we waited. We talked and laughed and waited. Michelle, my sister, thought a shower meant the sky would be streaming with meteors one after the other so when our light show finally began, it required patience between meteors and really good eyes to catch them as it was easy to miss one if your eyes were focused on another portion of sky.
We stayed up almost all night and saw about a dozen meteors shoot across that beautiful sky. When we walked away, we were so filled with satisfaction and so glad we had patiently waited for each "shooting star" we saw.
The meteor shower reminded me of the LORD's blessings. When we have lived His way through difficult times, through empty times, through fearful times, and times of doubt, when we follow His way eventually you see them--His "meteors"--His blessings.
They start to appear, sometimes we have to wait through even the darkest sky, but then they show up. He is faithful and when His way is followed, blessings will come. There is no question about it, it does happen.
The darkness is a guarantee also, maybe that's not the greatest news, but we are not in heaven yet and we've been warned about the tribulations and trials. He has been so good to us in that way, letting us know that the sorrows will come. All we can do is just keep following Him and hang on tight and wait...then the light show begins. If we're paying close attention, we will see when those blessings show up. They're not always jumbled close together. Sometimes we're still waiting and hanging on tight in between, but after years pass and we look back...we can be amazed by how much we've seen.
All it takes is obedience and waiting. The question is are we up to the challenge of doing just that?
Malachi 3:10--"Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it."
The other night, when preparing to return to our rooms at our little beach vacation, my sister received a phone call from her oldest son. He informed her that that night and the one after just happened to be the best viewing nights for a meteor shower. My sister had never seen a "shooting star" so the idea of a shower of them was too appealing to pass up.
We never made it back to the rooms that night. My sister, my mom, and I, along with a new friend plopped ourselves in lawn chairs on the pool deck, laid back and started searching the sky. We watched the moon rise and knew the "shower" would not be seen until the sky became darkest so we waited. We talked and laughed and waited. Michelle, my sister, thought a shower meant the sky would be streaming with meteors one after the other so when our light show finally began, it required patience between meteors and really good eyes to catch them as it was easy to miss one if your eyes were focused on another portion of sky.
We stayed up almost all night and saw about a dozen meteors shoot across that beautiful sky. When we walked away, we were so filled with satisfaction and so glad we had patiently waited for each "shooting star" we saw.
The meteor shower reminded me of the LORD's blessings. When we have lived His way through difficult times, through empty times, through fearful times, and times of doubt, when we follow His way eventually you see them--His "meteors"--His blessings.
They start to appear, sometimes we have to wait through even the darkest sky, but then they show up. He is faithful and when His way is followed, blessings will come. There is no question about it, it does happen.
The darkness is a guarantee also, maybe that's not the greatest news, but we are not in heaven yet and we've been warned about the tribulations and trials. He has been so good to us in that way, letting us know that the sorrows will come. All we can do is just keep following Him and hang on tight and wait...then the light show begins. If we're paying close attention, we will see when those blessings show up. They're not always jumbled close together. Sometimes we're still waiting and hanging on tight in between, but after years pass and we look back...we can be amazed by how much we've seen.
All it takes is obedience and waiting. The question is are we up to the challenge of doing just that?
Malachi 3:10--"Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it."
Sunday, August 9, 2009
I'm resting in the Shepherd's fold
Psalm 23--"He leadeth me beside paths of righteousness for His name's sake"
I'm listening to waves crash right now. Sitting under a large, but not full, reddish moon peeking through clouds showering glimmers of light on the ocean.
This is where we come every year. Our crew and extended family.
Especially for this occasion, I gathered all the pictures I had ever taken of our times here together and put them in one album for all of us to look at (and laugh at). Looking over the last twenty years or so, I've noticed one main thing. I see God's grace and mercy on our family.
I see the benefit of following His ways even when the doubts were crashing in my mind like waves on the shore. Doubts that I now recognize as darts from one who seeks to destroy anything that brings glory to the Worthy One. We somehow allowed His yoke to pull us His way and that saved us much heartache.
I see His favor on us. He blessed the tiniest offerings we offered to Him and gave back more than we could contain until we are now overflowing. It is simply because He has blessed us and we know it and are amazed and thankful.
I see His mercy. There were times over the years when my own rebellion turned a deaf ear to what I knew was right and brought me to the brink of deciding to go the way of selfishness. I grumpily got back in line, with pout and whine, and He kept me. Looking back I cringe at what may have been had I acted out my rebellion. He is a good Shepherd and comes for those who are His.
I see the reason for clinging to Him. The world's way is as reliable as the sand underfoot with each new wave leaving us wobbly and unable to stand firm. But His ways are solid and firm as building on a rock.
He has been so good to us.
Psalm 23--"Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life"
I'm listening to waves crash right now. Sitting under a large, but not full, reddish moon peeking through clouds showering glimmers of light on the ocean.
This is where we come every year. Our crew and extended family.
Especially for this occasion, I gathered all the pictures I had ever taken of our times here together and put them in one album for all of us to look at (and laugh at). Looking over the last twenty years or so, I've noticed one main thing. I see God's grace and mercy on our family.
I see the benefit of following His ways even when the doubts were crashing in my mind like waves on the shore. Doubts that I now recognize as darts from one who seeks to destroy anything that brings glory to the Worthy One. We somehow allowed His yoke to pull us His way and that saved us much heartache.
I see His favor on us. He blessed the tiniest offerings we offered to Him and gave back more than we could contain until we are now overflowing. It is simply because He has blessed us and we know it and are amazed and thankful.
I see His mercy. There were times over the years when my own rebellion turned a deaf ear to what I knew was right and brought me to the brink of deciding to go the way of selfishness. I grumpily got back in line, with pout and whine, and He kept me. Looking back I cringe at what may have been had I acted out my rebellion. He is a good Shepherd and comes for those who are His.
I see the reason for clinging to Him. The world's way is as reliable as the sand underfoot with each new wave leaving us wobbly and unable to stand firm. But His ways are solid and firm as building on a rock.
He has been so good to us.
Psalm 23--"Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life"
Friday, August 7, 2009
following
One thing I know to be true is they belong to Him, not me. I don't know if I knew that when the oldest, Jake, was born. It's probably something that sunk in during his toddler years when his own sinfulness was overshadowed by behavior he obviously learned from me. That's when the fear struck hard, fear that I was leading one who belonged to Someone Else down a wrong road.
I hit the brick wall of my own sinfulness when Jake was two. Till then, I had been excusing my own actions, blaming them on the injustice of other peoples' sins. Once I saw my own guiltiness walking around in front of me, acting just like me, my mirror image in a two year old, I asked the One who can to change me. The road was difficult, but He is able to take even the most unruly piece of clay and mold it into something useful. So after years of molding and being thrown in the kiln (a few times--due to my own stiff neck), this piece of pottery serves some purpose. Even more important, the ones He sent us are learning to serve a purpose.
Oldest is now encouraging me. I visit his blog and find hard hitting words of a young man who's learning to be a soldier for Christ. I read the words and they remind me to pray. Pray because he wants to go the way of Truth and that is a tough path in the world that surrounds him. Pray because he has an enemy who looks for any foothold. Pray that he remembers that that enemy is nothing next to the One who has called him. Pray that he runs the race without slowing or changing direction because his hope lies in One who is the way.
A year or so ago, he ran cross country at the high school. I watched when he ran and I thought how can he keep going without resting. I enjoyed running too, but I could never go the distance he went. I pray that he also goes farther in his race with Christ than this piece of clay he was born to. I pray that they all do.
Writing never came easy to Jake. He never seemed to be inclined to sit down and gather thoughts. But now the words come out and land on the screen. The words come from others who exhort him, from studying the Word that is eternal, from his inward parts that no one can see, but the One who called him.
All the children belong to Him. Husband and I cannot promise them much. We can't promise them a future or even that we will never leave them because we don't hold tomorrow. But He promises them those very things and so much more. He can deliver on the promises. They are His. They have just been put here with us to aim them in His direction. It's a gift He gives--these children. We are blessed in the process of teaching them His way.
They watch and mimic. We know they learned it from someone and sometimes that means we must surrender again so as not to mislead the ones who belong to Another. Through our surrender, we get closer to Him. That's the blessing, a closer walk with the One who we also belong to.
I know of no better way to lead them to Him than to have them follow me following Him.
Deuteronomy 31:13--"...that their children, which have not known any thing, may hear, and learn to fear the LORD..."
Jake's site: hebrews13-6.blogspot.com
I hit the brick wall of my own sinfulness when Jake was two. Till then, I had been excusing my own actions, blaming them on the injustice of other peoples' sins. Once I saw my own guiltiness walking around in front of me, acting just like me, my mirror image in a two year old, I asked the One who can to change me. The road was difficult, but He is able to take even the most unruly piece of clay and mold it into something useful. So after years of molding and being thrown in the kiln (a few times--due to my own stiff neck), this piece of pottery serves some purpose. Even more important, the ones He sent us are learning to serve a purpose.
Oldest is now encouraging me. I visit his blog and find hard hitting words of a young man who's learning to be a soldier for Christ. I read the words and they remind me to pray. Pray because he wants to go the way of Truth and that is a tough path in the world that surrounds him. Pray because he has an enemy who looks for any foothold. Pray that he remembers that that enemy is nothing next to the One who has called him. Pray that he runs the race without slowing or changing direction because his hope lies in One who is the way.
A year or so ago, he ran cross country at the high school. I watched when he ran and I thought how can he keep going without resting. I enjoyed running too, but I could never go the distance he went. I pray that he also goes farther in his race with Christ than this piece of clay he was born to. I pray that they all do.
Writing never came easy to Jake. He never seemed to be inclined to sit down and gather thoughts. But now the words come out and land on the screen. The words come from others who exhort him, from studying the Word that is eternal, from his inward parts that no one can see, but the One who called him.
All the children belong to Him. Husband and I cannot promise them much. We can't promise them a future or even that we will never leave them because we don't hold tomorrow. But He promises them those very things and so much more. He can deliver on the promises. They are His. They have just been put here with us to aim them in His direction. It's a gift He gives--these children. We are blessed in the process of teaching them His way.
They watch and mimic. We know they learned it from someone and sometimes that means we must surrender again so as not to mislead the ones who belong to Another. Through our surrender, we get closer to Him. That's the blessing, a closer walk with the One who we also belong to.
I know of no better way to lead them to Him than to have them follow me following Him.
Deuteronomy 31:13--"...that their children, which have not known any thing, may hear, and learn to fear the LORD..."
Jake's site: hebrews13-6.blogspot.com
Monday, August 3, 2009
felt the icy waters of the Ichetucknee River today
Psalm 30:5--"...weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning."
To me it feels a little like plunging yourself into a glass of ice water--going tubing in the Ichetucknee, that is.
I just tucked the six year old in bed with kisses and prayers. That was the event I had eagerly waited for since mid morning today. His day started with excitement about a trip with friends. But when we reached the Ichetucknee River and the 40% chance of rain became definite for us, he just looked at me in that boat waiting for him to join me and simply shook his head "no."
Of course, he had no choice, no other options, so he ended up in that leaking boat with me sitting in about 3 inches of icy cold water, floating down a river, exposed to the elements and the elements making their presence known with lightning and a drenching downpour. Poor little fella had just wanted to have a fun day, but then he was sitting there with no head cover, freezing from the top from cold rain and freezing from the bottom from icy river water, little lips shivering as he said "I want to go home" and I couldn't do anything to make him more comfortable. All I could do was reassure him that we were going there after we got out of the boat, never mentioning that he wasn't leaving it for a few hours.
I thought about how I could hardly wait for tonight when I would tuck him in with his cozy covers and have him safe and warm.
Well, the rain calmed down and the sun peaked through a couple of times. There was a picnic lunch. He got a new partner in the boat, big brother, Jake, who made it more fun. They created waves with the boat and splashed everyone with their oar. By the time he left, he had decided he wanted to be a diver and talked about what a great time he had.
I don't know if he had forgotten the earlier misery, but apparently it had become less of a focal point because he was now enjoying the fun that had come after.
Maybe we're supposed to do that too. Sometimes we go through tough times early in life, but when the LORD brings us through them, why hang on to the misery of what had been? I've been blessed beyond my greatest dreams since the times of hurts and fears. I still remember them and have grown a lot because of them, but I'm not experiencing pain like that now and I'm free to enjoy the blessings He's given me. It's taken me a lot longer to learn this than it apparently took Ethan. As I tucked him in a few minutes ago, he was still talking about his great day and never even mentioned rain, cold, and misery, just how much fun his day was.
Job 42:12--"So the Lord blessed the latter end of Job more than his beginning..."
To me it feels a little like plunging yourself into a glass of ice water--going tubing in the Ichetucknee, that is.
I just tucked the six year old in bed with kisses and prayers. That was the event I had eagerly waited for since mid morning today. His day started with excitement about a trip with friends. But when we reached the Ichetucknee River and the 40% chance of rain became definite for us, he just looked at me in that boat waiting for him to join me and simply shook his head "no."
Of course, he had no choice, no other options, so he ended up in that leaking boat with me sitting in about 3 inches of icy cold water, floating down a river, exposed to the elements and the elements making their presence known with lightning and a drenching downpour. Poor little fella had just wanted to have a fun day, but then he was sitting there with no head cover, freezing from the top from cold rain and freezing from the bottom from icy river water, little lips shivering as he said "I want to go home" and I couldn't do anything to make him more comfortable. All I could do was reassure him that we were going there after we got out of the boat, never mentioning that he wasn't leaving it for a few hours.
I thought about how I could hardly wait for tonight when I would tuck him in with his cozy covers and have him safe and warm.
Well, the rain calmed down and the sun peaked through a couple of times. There was a picnic lunch. He got a new partner in the boat, big brother, Jake, who made it more fun. They created waves with the boat and splashed everyone with their oar. By the time he left, he had decided he wanted to be a diver and talked about what a great time he had.
I don't know if he had forgotten the earlier misery, but apparently it had become less of a focal point because he was now enjoying the fun that had come after.
Maybe we're supposed to do that too. Sometimes we go through tough times early in life, but when the LORD brings us through them, why hang on to the misery of what had been? I've been blessed beyond my greatest dreams since the times of hurts and fears. I still remember them and have grown a lot because of them, but I'm not experiencing pain like that now and I'm free to enjoy the blessings He's given me. It's taken me a lot longer to learn this than it apparently took Ethan. As I tucked him in a few minutes ago, he was still talking about his great day and never even mentioned rain, cold, and misery, just how much fun his day was.
Job 42:12--"So the Lord blessed the latter end of Job more than his beginning..."
Saturday, August 1, 2009
fruits from the One whose hands ARE big enough
Psalm 23:5--"...my cup runneth over."
I sat down this week to finally sort through the past years papers, reading lists, completed assignments (and half-completed assignments), art work, expressions in writing, and such. Honestly, this was not a time I had looked forward to. The last year brought much joy, but a large dose of chaos, too.
You see, I am not an incredible homemaker or a superb homeschooler. The only reason I even know how to cook was due to a course I needed in junior college. Not everyone learns how to keep home when they're growing up. Sometimes families are struggling to survive so training little ones for future roles may not happen. I've wrestled with my less-than-perfect homemaking ways for years, gleaning from women who I listen intently to either in person, in books, or even via the Internet. But this past year was very difficult. I proved I am no juggler, multitasker, or wonder woman.
We threw a sweet bundle of blue-eyed sunshine into our mix, an unexpected bundle who was named Lily, so lovingly by her daddy. After her arrival, all my juggling balls fell to the floor where they remain even now. I struggled through with little "precious pants" on my hip. Many times offering meals that were quick but lacking nutrients, a home where dust bunnies and cobwebs thrived, and a very short attention span for four other little arrows who sometimes just needed to talk.
But the homeschooling was my big concern. What did I plan to teach the Kindergartner this week? Where did I put the third grader's math book? Have I assigned the seventh grader any writing at all? Is that horrible smell the science experiment high school man has left on the counter for two months now? By the end of the year, I was spent and didn't know why, considering it seemed I had accomplished very little. I realized I could not be a candidate for having our family picture on any home school magazine. I mean no one drew a copy of da Vinci's Mona Lisa on the carport with sidewalk chalk. No one built a replica of the Eiffel Tower with Lego's. Honestly, I was just thrilled that by April our little blue-eyed sunshine decided to stop waking up three or four times a night so Sweet Man and I could experience that phantom--sleep.
The good news came when I finally sat down to evaluate our little arrows. It's just a paper I put in the portfolio, but it has one thing I like to pause and think about. Just a spot to list strengths and weaknesses. As I began pondering the strengths this year, my eyes were open to the overlooked. The thing that is more important to me than their test scores...their character. Especially the two olders, how amazingly they have blessed this somewhat harried mother this year. Showing fruits of the One who they've invited in. Patience carefully targeted at the ones who often bother them. Gentleness poured on little blue eyes whose arrival often cost them their mother's attention. Self-control exercised when they had reason to argue. Joy when they saw this woman with a "sharp nose", as teenage girl calls it, her term for angry me...joy spreading so I would smile back and many times it worked! All summed up, they excelled in love! What more could I have hoped for this year? Memorization of facts, knowledge of scientific theories, awards that will sit atop a shelf? No...I'll take the love. Maybe this next year we'll reach for some of those other achievements, but this was the year that character grew, the year that love infiltrated these little arrows and Sweet Man and I reaped quite a harvest. When the Lord of the harvest touches something His blessing is more than we can hold.....so spills out some of my overflowing cup onto this blog.
Daniel 1:17--"As for these four children, God gave them knowledge and skill in all learning and wisdom"
I sat down this week to finally sort through the past years papers, reading lists, completed assignments (and half-completed assignments), art work, expressions in writing, and such. Honestly, this was not a time I had looked forward to. The last year brought much joy, but a large dose of chaos, too.
You see, I am not an incredible homemaker or a superb homeschooler. The only reason I even know how to cook was due to a course I needed in junior college. Not everyone learns how to keep home when they're growing up. Sometimes families are struggling to survive so training little ones for future roles may not happen. I've wrestled with my less-than-perfect homemaking ways for years, gleaning from women who I listen intently to either in person, in books, or even via the Internet. But this past year was very difficult. I proved I am no juggler, multitasker, or wonder woman.
We threw a sweet bundle of blue-eyed sunshine into our mix, an unexpected bundle who was named Lily, so lovingly by her daddy. After her arrival, all my juggling balls fell to the floor where they remain even now. I struggled through with little "precious pants" on my hip. Many times offering meals that were quick but lacking nutrients, a home where dust bunnies and cobwebs thrived, and a very short attention span for four other little arrows who sometimes just needed to talk.
But the homeschooling was my big concern. What did I plan to teach the Kindergartner this week? Where did I put the third grader's math book? Have I assigned the seventh grader any writing at all? Is that horrible smell the science experiment high school man has left on the counter for two months now? By the end of the year, I was spent and didn't know why, considering it seemed I had accomplished very little. I realized I could not be a candidate for having our family picture on any home school magazine. I mean no one drew a copy of da Vinci's Mona Lisa on the carport with sidewalk chalk. No one built a replica of the Eiffel Tower with Lego's. Honestly, I was just thrilled that by April our little blue-eyed sunshine decided to stop waking up three or four times a night so Sweet Man and I could experience that phantom--sleep.
The good news came when I finally sat down to evaluate our little arrows. It's just a paper I put in the portfolio, but it has one thing I like to pause and think about. Just a spot to list strengths and weaknesses. As I began pondering the strengths this year, my eyes were open to the overlooked. The thing that is more important to me than their test scores...their character. Especially the two olders, how amazingly they have blessed this somewhat harried mother this year. Showing fruits of the One who they've invited in. Patience carefully targeted at the ones who often bother them. Gentleness poured on little blue eyes whose arrival often cost them their mother's attention. Self-control exercised when they had reason to argue. Joy when they saw this woman with a "sharp nose", as teenage girl calls it, her term for angry me...joy spreading so I would smile back and many times it worked! All summed up, they excelled in love! What more could I have hoped for this year? Memorization of facts, knowledge of scientific theories, awards that will sit atop a shelf? No...I'll take the love. Maybe this next year we'll reach for some of those other achievements, but this was the year that character grew, the year that love infiltrated these little arrows and Sweet Man and I reaped quite a harvest. When the Lord of the harvest touches something His blessing is more than we can hold.....so spills out some of my overflowing cup onto this blog.
Daniel 1:17--"As for these four children, God gave them knowledge and skill in all learning and wisdom"
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