usually I'm the learner

Matthew 18:3--"...unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven."

Every Wednesday night, these small people come in and teach me. I'm the one with the lesson plan, but that usually does not matter. I walk away learning more than them.

They use a very effective style of teaching, no papers, no books, all hands-on. I have a choice, I can either look and listen for my lessons or play the roll of grown up and try to maintain some control. Sometimes, at thirty-nine, I still don't feel very grown up so I tend to look for the lesson. The lessons are always interesting and profound and they're not limited to the classroom.

Sometimes my lesson is about letting go of control and allowing things to go "wrong", all to see that no major catastrophe happens if things don't go my way. They teach this in interesting ways, I guess because they like to make the lesson fun for me. I've learned that mixing play dough colors causes no harm to anyone, it's still play dough and they really like seeing colors blend into rainbows. Also, if a child sits on my lap and then has an accident, it's no big deal if we both walk away with wet pants, they can be washed.

They also have this really great lesson about not holding grudges. Sometimes after I've played the grown up and scolded one of them, that very same one will come up to me and hug and kiss me afterwards with no reservation. Sweet forgiveness demonstrated.

A lot of times they provide opportunities for me to see if the fruits of the Spirit are active in me. Like when one of them for some unknown reason acts out by tossing all the goldfish crackers across the table and onto the floor. Then as I insist on them helping to clean the mess, there's that moment when the child sees the crackers on the floor and I know what's in the mind, but I can't quite get there fast enough to stop them from crushing them with their shoes. I have learned I can hold my tongue in any situation, but my attitude still needs work.

The most difficult lesson for me still has been out of that classroom. It's a lesson I struggle with, but they keep on trying to teach me and they refuse to give up on me learning it. It happens when I'm walking through the church, people are all around. As I walk past people I dearly love and simply smile a half-smile and say the phrase I so dislike to hear coming from my mouth, the phrase that shows how distant I am to people, "how are you" and I keep walking not stopping to even hear the answer sometimes, that's when one of them will show up with my lesson. That child is usually a good distance away, but it doesn't matter, the Lord knows I need that lesson. I hear a loud precious voice yelling "Mrs. Angel" and then running through a forest of grown up legs, he finds me and throws his arms around me. And I feel special. But that is my most difficult lesson because it is the one I fail at the most. One day I hope to learn it and act on it. Maybe I will just begin to live it and shock people. There are people I see every time I'm there and in my head when I see them, I am that little child, full of excitement that they are there and that I get to see them, but as quickly as my heart leaps, my pride says calm down little one, don't make a scene. Maybe I'll start to make a scene.


Psalm 8:2--"Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings hast thou ordained strength because of thine enemies, that thou mightest still the enemy and the avenger."